Sacred End-of-Life Doula
Nan Bernstein
Reclaiming the Natural Conversation on Life and Death
There is a common misconception that preparing for death signifies surrender or despair, yet this subject is one that many prefer to avoid. By examining our relationship with mortality, we foster a dialogue that dismantles taboos and helps clarify the natural rhythm of life. This creates space where every memory, wish, and value is honored and our understanding of what it means to truly live is enriched.
In the United States, the glorification of youth inadvertently silences conversations about mortality—a stark contrast to earlier times when multi-generational living naturally facilitated care and honest discussion around life and death. Today, as families are scattered across states and continents, such dialogue has become increasingly rare. I invite you to reclaim the tradition of deep, honest conversation, so that preparation honors your wishes for loved ones. It also restores a sense of closeness, care, and understanding in our lives.
What is a Death Doula?
A death doula, sometimes known as a death midwife or grief walker, offers non-medical, emotional, and spiritual support during the delicate passage of dying. My role is not limited to the moments when death is near; it encompasses a broader dialogue that ensures awareness and comfort before the transition becomes imminent. With reverence and care, I help individuals and families prepare no matter how old.
Work With Nan
Guidance
Thoughtful end-of-life planning that honors your unique journey and what is necessary to make it easier.
Create an end-of-life plan including burial decision—green, traditional, cremation, etc.
Advise the completion and placement of important paperwork including DNR, wills, health proxies, POLST-Physician Orders for Life-Sustaining Treatment (MOLST in Massachusetts), and Five Wishes that reflect your values and legacy.
Deliver transition coaching for individuals, family, and caregivers to navigate change with clarity and support.
Compassion
Attentive, non-medical care that upholds the dignity of every moment.
Provide bedside presence and companionship to bring comfort and connection in final moments.
Coordinate with care teams to ensure alignment between medical, emotional, and spiritual needs.
Create personalized rituals that honor life stories and provide any wishes to be honored.
Support
Assisting families in their time of need preparing for and following death.
Offer bereavement guidance to help loved ones process grief and remembrance.
Facilitate ceremonies and reflections that celebrate a life well lived.
Extend grief education to help individuals and families approach loss with understanding.
Ask Nan
There are many misconceptions about what it means to prepare for the end of life; no matter how old. For example, reaching out to a death doula is not an admission of imminent death—it is a proactive step to prepare and provide clarity, control, and peace. I challenge you to ask the question: What is your relationship to death? Let’s start a conversation that removes the stigma.
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No. Too many people push the planning aside and wait too long. The earlier in life you approach these decisions, the more objectivity and open-mindedness you have. Thoughtful planning is for everyone, ensuring your values and wishes are honored at every stage. Commit to these conversations preemptively, revisit them annually to ensure they remain in alignment with your core values, and then go live your life with the peace of mind planning brings.
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No. Death doulas are meant to compliment, not replace, significant medical care. We’re not doctors or medical providers of any kind. We are advocates and companions whose role is to ensure the wishes of you or a loved one are met throughout the planning, the end-of-life experience, and the grieving afterward
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It doesn’t have to be. Your end-of-life experience should reflect your wishes. Planning ahead allows you to make informed choices about pain management, natural death, and nutrition decisions. By answering critical questions and understanding the options available, you gain control over your final transition. Explore end-of-life planning, advance care directives, and compassionate support to ensure dignity in your journey.
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A good death honors an individual’s values, wishes, and dignity. It is free from unnecessary suffering, supported by compassionate care, and allows a person to pass with peace and preparation. It requires end-of-life planning, emotional readiness, and meaningful reflection, ensuring that loved ones and care givers understand and respect the individual’s choices. Tools like advance directives and the Five Wishes document ensure clarity and comfort in life’s final moments. A good death is not just about medical care—it is about emotional support, presence, and the ability to say goodbye in a way that feels complete.
About Nan
I am Nan, and my journey began at 22 when I delivered a stranger’s baby during an emergency. I never learned her name or got to know her afterward, but that experience showed me how important it is to be present during life’s critical transitions. Since then, I’ve been dedicated to supporting people through all of life’s threshold moments—whether helping someone prepare for a new stage of life or being with them during their final moments.
My background in film and television taught me effective communication and connection. I use those skills now as a death doula and coach, helping people with career decisions, healthcare options, and organizing end-of-life documentation, all while respecting their personal values.
I am certified by the Conscious Dying Collective as a coach and doula, hold a Life Coach certification from the Einstein Institute, and have completed an intensive eight-day workshop with Elizabeth Kubler-Ross on Life, Death, and Transition. I am also a member and work with agencies including Compassion and Choices, Aging with Dignity, and Elder Services, and I have collaborated with Hospice Care of the Berkshires.
I am here to provide clear and compassionate support, ensuring that every person feels their wishes are heard and respected during life’s most important moments.
Contact Nan
Nan offers a professional guidance session (fee applies) for individuals at any stage of the death planning process. For more information, including pricing, please fill out the form below.